I think we have all had the experience when there is someone in need and there is very little we can do. Whether it’s a friend or an acquaintance who is dealing with cancer or recovering from surgery, we always say, “please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.”
Often there is little we can do, and we feel so helpless not being able to provide some support, not being able to give comfort and take away some of the pain. We want very much to help lift a burden, to lift their spirits, but finding the way to do this is not always easy.
There was someone in my peripheral vision I didn’t know very well but I wanted to figure out a way to help her as she went through a life-altering illness. I thought of many things I could do, but acted on none of them. I continued to think of her and then finally one day an idea came to me: what about having a bouquet of flowers delivered to her every month.
I reached out to a friend of mine who knew her well and asked if she would be interested and if so, could she suggest eleven others. The list was easy to create as everyone wanted to do something for her, and when asked, each person gave a resounding “Yes!”
It was a simple idea, but one with meaning for me, and I believe for all those involved. It provided me with an opportunity to work with a talented local florist. We arranged to pay for the year’s deliveries in advance and our florist very generously waived the delivery charge, creating an even bigger and more beautiful bouquet for our friend.
I arranged with the florist to text me a photo of each bouquet before it was delivered on the 15th of each month, so I could e-mail it to the other 12 women as a way to say thank you for being a part of this and as a reminder to think of and reach out to our friend.
It may not fully answer the question of “what can I do to help?,” but it did let her know we were thinking of her and holding her close to our hearts.
Share with me how you have been able to help, to reach out to someone who is dealing with illness or struggling through a tough time.
Flower at the top of the post: Anemone
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What a lovely way to show someone you care and are thinking of them. That type of positive energy can go a long way to someone in need.
I had a similar experience when a dear friend was suffering through a long term battle with cancer (from which she has, so far, recovered). She did not want to talk with anyone or communicate at all. It was her way. So what I did was send her an email, at least once a week, with a joke or a funny story. Something silly to try to make her laugh or crack a smile, even if for just a moment. (I would have sent her a membership to Floating Petals, but I believe she is already a member). It did not matter that she never responded.
Later on, when she felt like talking again, she told me how much those emails meant to her. Someone from outside her cancer circle was reaching in to let her know she was thought of. Although I did not seek it, she has expressed her new found love for me all the time. We are closer than we ever would have been before. It is sometimes hard to find a meaningful connection during difficult times; it is worth the search.
Having just finished a course on The Science of Happiness, which spoke to the significant value of compassion, empathy and connection in creating a happy life, I suspect that both of you are very happy ladies. Nice how life manages to increase our happiness when we work to provide joy to others.
So appreciate you sharing your story as it is always hard to know how we can help, and often when we try, we really don’t know what a difference it can make and you definitely made a difference in your friends life.